Wishes

Wish I was a photographer...
I want to create the beautiful thought provoking emotional photos of people. I get so inspired by all these photo I see all around me. I wish I could do that...

I know I could. If I tried.
Really tried. Took a class.
Got the equipment.

But there are just too many things I wish I could do that I am working on instead...

I wish I knew more sign language.
I wish I could speak Spanish.
I wish I could do graphic design.
I wish I was a better rider.

I wish I could remember the French I learned.
I wish I was more confident in my chosen profession.
I wish I was better at making people happy.

I wish I was better at making myself happy.
I wish.


I wish.


Someday, I'll get to all of this.

The City

I went for a walk in the city a week or so ago now. It was a lot of fun. Going exploring, hiking all over the city.
I posted several pictures to my facebook if you wish to see them. I shall post some here when my computer wakes up from its coma I induced upon it from being too lazy to find my power cord before it died.

Anytime I think about San Francisco and call it the city, it reminds me of this clip from Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill.

Broken

I'm pretty broken.
Not actually broken.
But walking hurts.

I rode a Clydesdale on Tuesday.

I haven't ridden any horses since this summer and I never really worked that hard.
Summer made me work for it.

And now I'm paying for it.
Inner thighs hurt.
Arms hurt.
Shoulders hurt.
Back hurts.

All musclular. Nothing to be done except work through the pain. Lots of baths and stretching. Trying not to let the muscles lock up mid shift at work like they did yesterday.
Owie...

That's one very large bite

Train. in color by Parawan

So not only did I get a new part time job teaching horseback riding (finally), I was made a trainer at work. They've been trying to make me a trainer for a few months now but I kept saying 'no'. I finally gave in this last week. So when I showed up to work my general manager came up to me and went 'Surprise!' you're training!' Here's your trainee... Go for it...

Then later, it was 'Surprise!' Here work a mid'... lol

What have I gotten myself into?

English Smenglish

I lose control over the English language rather frequently. It is incredibly frustrating. There must be a loose wire or connection that goes from my brain to my mouth that buggers up my words into sentences that no longer make sense.
Things always sound better in my head. Especially when it comes out as progressive instead of productive. (A recent notable occurrence that just happened the other day when trying to describe my day). This is why I prefer to write or type or text. My selective Aphasia tends to get worse on my days off but not always. At least I handle it well enough that I manage to make people laugh at my complete inability to make my mouth say what I want it to say.

I am smart gosh darn it. Even if I don't sound like it.

I hear the phrase 'It's a good thing you're pretty' way too often. grrrr... lol.

Dreams are funny

Dreams are Dreams by ~olushia-loosiczka

I've been having so delightfully intriguing dreams the last couple days. They are strange but not unsettling. Not the kind where when you wake up you are off your game for the rest of the day.

Instead, the kind that almost uplifts you and makes you smile.

This morning's dream was so vivid and long. My parents backyard was massive suddenly and they had various empty flower box things everywhere. Abby and I decided to do a little bit of gardening so we went outside.

A few boxes were full with various vegetables that were a bit scraggly. And one particular box had what I thought were those live forever plants that Mom's side of the family adores. But they turned out to be hermit crab type animals with plants as tops instead of shells that grabbed my finger and scared the living daylights out of me. We moved those into a different box and planted wildflowers where they had been. We planted a lot of flowers, and some roses, ad tomato plants, even a little mustard seed.

Nothing really grew in the dream yet but we had high hopes for a beautiful garden after some rain and time. We discovered an old hand pump that had more of a foot lever in a shallow pit next to our garden. I fell through the thin plywood cover on the lever and started flooding the shallow pit that Abby was standing in. With a tiny bit of panic during and giggles after, she jumped out somewhat more damp. We covered the pressure lever back up so we wouldn't unintentionally trigger a flood somewhere in the yard.

After finishing our part in the new garden we discovered an underground house. It was huge and newly finished. Inside there was a bunch of game rooms, with a bowling ally and basketball court amongst the others. It super cool. My parents came down to play with us and enjoy the new hideout.

I don't remember everything else that happened. The last scene in the dream ended with me looking at the garden with fondness, even the hermit crab buggers, and hoping for progress and lots of color. I knew some of the seeds wouldn't take root because in some of the boxes we hadn't removed the gravel that laid above the soft dirt, just mixed the seeds in. But those that were strong enough would put root down anyway. I knew this and felt peace anyway.

I woke up to my dog jingling her collar feeling peaceful and rested and happy to greet the day. I almost hope I actually had that garden.

Would you look at that?

I have discovered that I can post from my nookcolor. Its pretty snazzy. I don't imagine I'll be doing it often but its a nice novelty. I'm currently at the laundromat washing the giant living room blanket that Marley got a little too excited on one day.
So anyway back to laundry. More to come later hopefully.